last minute jitters
The day of reckoning is almost upon me. It will not be a long time before my future will be decided. Since I don't know what's going on in her mind, the war could be won in a small battle or could need to be waged for the months to come. At the moment, all my instruments are well honed in readiness for a real bad time ahead. Hopefully things will not be nearly as bad as what I'm prepared for.
In my drastically dwindled arsenal, my main weapon will be physical presence. Hopefully she will still not have developed a defence against the sheer chemistry we shared. My ability to make her smile and laugh out loud no matter what her mood should also stand me in good stead.
I have a few trips planned, and a few romantic dinners. I have checked out the films playing at a local multiplex, and a couple of them should also be fun.
A couple of drinks at some good pub will go a long way in loosening any tension which she might be feeling about us.
Then once she feels up to considering as very real, the chance that we'll spend the rest of our life together, I'll tell her about all the changes I am making in my own life for our relationship. Hopefully I'll get a chance to say all that after she's open to the possibility of a future together. I'd hate to waste that on an attempt to make her reconsider even having a future together.
Still in spite of all my preparation - mental and otherwise, I can't help feel really nervous. It's times like these when I really wish I knew everything I need to turn the situation in my favour.
This time in 3 days, I hope to be lying with her in my arms. Those were the days... and I'll be damned if I let it go without giving it all I have.
When I almost broke down on the phone after realizing she's breaking up with me, she told me - "Be a man". She didn't realize that I was only being human. She thinks being a man is dealing with the loss of a love. I believe being a man is fighting for what you believe in, for the person you love. And her whole "Be a man" advice will now put a spanner in her own plans... because this man is not giving up on her or her love.
In my drastically dwindled arsenal, my main weapon will be physical presence. Hopefully she will still not have developed a defence against the sheer chemistry we shared. My ability to make her smile and laugh out loud no matter what her mood should also stand me in good stead.
I have a few trips planned, and a few romantic dinners. I have checked out the films playing at a local multiplex, and a couple of them should also be fun.
A couple of drinks at some good pub will go a long way in loosening any tension which she might be feeling about us.
Then once she feels up to considering as very real, the chance that we'll spend the rest of our life together, I'll tell her about all the changes I am making in my own life for our relationship. Hopefully I'll get a chance to say all that after she's open to the possibility of a future together. I'd hate to waste that on an attempt to make her reconsider even having a future together.
Still in spite of all my preparation - mental and otherwise, I can't help feel really nervous. It's times like these when I really wish I knew everything I need to turn the situation in my favour.
This time in 3 days, I hope to be lying with her in my arms. Those were the days... and I'll be damned if I let it go without giving it all I have.
When I almost broke down on the phone after realizing she's breaking up with me, she told me - "Be a man". She didn't realize that I was only being human. She thinks being a man is dealing with the loss of a love. I believe being a man is fighting for what you believe in, for the person you love. And her whole "Be a man" advice will now put a spanner in her own plans... because this man is not giving up on her or her love.
posted by the grim sleeper at 7:15 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home