changed coordinates
One hurdle out of the way... but I'm no longer sure if the road I'm on is the right road.
Came to Britain a week ago, and seems like I'm likely to stick around for some more time. Though one year back - hell even 6-7 months back, this would be a dream come true, I am no longer dreaming that dream.
The last few months have created serious doubts in my mind about the sustainability of my erstwhile plan. After a reversal of fortunes 8 months ago, the tables seem to have turned once again. I have never had more stress in my life like the stress I've faced in the pursuit of happiness via this route. In fact, I no longer believe I will find happiness following this route. However it is not a route lightly left as there are still strong ties here, and as a result, I am here to see to it that this either dies a death with the respect it deserves, or is strengthened so it may survive and have a reasonable potential of delivering happiness. At the moment, the former option seems to be more desirable, but is not so easily achieved because of my reluctance to inflict hurt. Its this reluctance to hurt coupled with the reluctance to continue which shoots the stress levels through the roof.
Anyway... just thought I'd post an update since I'd not blogged for a while now.
Came to Britain a week ago, and seems like I'm likely to stick around for some more time. Though one year back - hell even 6-7 months back, this would be a dream come true, I am no longer dreaming that dream.
The last few months have created serious doubts in my mind about the sustainability of my erstwhile plan. After a reversal of fortunes 8 months ago, the tables seem to have turned once again. I have never had more stress in my life like the stress I've faced in the pursuit of happiness via this route. In fact, I no longer believe I will find happiness following this route. However it is not a route lightly left as there are still strong ties here, and as a result, I am here to see to it that this either dies a death with the respect it deserves, or is strengthened so it may survive and have a reasonable potential of delivering happiness. At the moment, the former option seems to be more desirable, but is not so easily achieved because of my reluctance to inflict hurt. Its this reluctance to hurt coupled with the reluctance to continue which shoots the stress levels through the roof.
Anyway... just thought I'd post an update since I'd not blogged for a while now.
posted by the grim sleeper at 1:30 AM
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